Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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