It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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