He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
