But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
