I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
