who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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