She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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