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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
