no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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