when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
