I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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