about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
