She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
