Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
