yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
