drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
