Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
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He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
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I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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