Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
