Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
