im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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