she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize