these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
