in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
