dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
