I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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