we're blogging at a bar
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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