so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
