i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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