I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
