Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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