I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
