Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
