I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
