It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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