i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
