a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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