And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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