Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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