last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
