I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
