So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
