fuck your aforementioned shoe
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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