I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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