and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize