I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
