I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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