So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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