garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
