Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
