I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
