We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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