I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
