i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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