Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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