Is it normal to miss your booty call?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
