btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Randomize