3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The beer is more important than you right now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
