Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
