I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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