She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Randomize
