why didn't you poke me back
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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