he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
