He had one of those small greek statue penises
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
